The Style Invitational Week 853 Its easy as DEF -- create a new word with a series of letters

Saturday, January 23, 2010; C02

 

McDeath: The new Bacon Half Pounder with Cheese

 

There's a full moon out there, which means it's time for yet another neologism contest, this one suggested by Amazing Rookie Loser Craig Dykstra (with his own example). This week: Create a brand-new word or phrase that contains a block of three successive letters in the alphabet; the series must go forward in the alphabet, not backward.

 

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a cute little solar-powered Dancing Cactus, donated by Rick Haynes of Potomac. "Dancing" is a bit of a stretch, but put it on a sunny windowsill and it will move and wave its arms at you. It is also as smooth-skinned as a, um, as a non-cactus.

 

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Loser Magnets. First Offenders get a smelly tree-shaped air "freshener" (Fir Stink for their First Ink). One prize per entrant per week. Send your entries by e-mail to losers@washpost.com or by fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Feb. 1. Put "Week 853" in the subject line of your e-mail, or it risks being ignored as spam. Include your name, postal address and phone number with your entry. Contests are judged on the basis of humor and originality. All entries become the property of The Washington Post. Entries may be edited for taste or content. Results will be published Feb. 20. No purchase required for entry. Employees of The Washington Post, and their immediate relatives, are not eligible for prizes. Pseudonymous entries will be disqualified. The revised title for next week's results is by Tom Witte; this week's honorable-mentions subhead was submitted by both Pete Morelewicz and Kevin Dopart.

 

Report From Week 849, in which we asked you to create new homonyms -- words spelled differently from, but pronounced the same as, existing words. While academics tend to use "homophones" to describe these words, we went along with the permissive definition of "homonym" in The Post's dictionary. So just relax and enjoy, huffy people.

 

The Winner of the Inker

 

Glock-n-Spiel: Common action-movie scene in which the villain has a gun aimed at the hero's head, but rather than just pulling the trigger, he delivers a long victory speech about his superiority, which proves fatally wrong seconds later. (Christopher Lamora, Arlington)

 

2. winner of the pantyhose-faced see/hear/speak-no-evil soft sculpture: Ho-maid: The role of a traditional wife. (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)

 

3. Hi-deaf TV: Commercials. (Steve Offutt, Arlington)

 

4. S-cargo: Snail mail. (Don Hauptman, New York, a First Offender)

 

Homophoning it in: Honorable mentions

 

Adhear: A jingle that gets stuck in your head. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville)

 

Altarnates: Mistresses. (Sneha Kannan, Cambridge, Mass.)

 

Fundrazer: Bernie Madoff. (Russ Taylor, Vienna)

 

Untennable: Listen, no amount of plastic surgery is going to turn you into Angelina Jolie. (Michelle Stupak, Ellicott City)

 

 

Newsances: Tweets. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

 

Buyou: The source of Louisiana political success. (Kevin Dopart)

 

Blahg: An online chronicle about scrapbooking and kittens. (Kevin Dopart)

 

Brewedmare: Where a Clydesdale comes from. (Russ Taylor)

 

Eyesickle: The coldest of stares. (Michelle Stupak)

 

Jungster: A freshman psych major. (Pete Morelewicz, Washington)

 

Webcaste: The new elite in Bangelore. (Russ Taylor)

 

Peteat: Small-busted. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village)

 

Ouizel: A devious Frenchman. (Ann Martin, Bracknell, England)

 

Demanned: Unstaffed. (Kevin Dopart)

 

Assistense: Your mother-in-law's visit to "help out" with your new baby. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington)

 

Herpeas: The result of sharing the wrong pod. (Craig Dykstra)

 

Expyre: An old flame. (John O'Byrne, Dublin)

 

Dictater: Mister Head Potato. (Tom Witte)

 

Aquaducked: Waterboarded (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

 

Epidermiss: A centerfold. (Craig Dykstra)

 

Whacks eloquent: Kills softly with his song. (Craig Dykstra)

 

Suckcess: A Pyrrhic victory. (Tom Witte)

 

Manshun: A convent (also known as a virginn). (Tom Witte)

 

Fourplay: (1) Tiger Woods and three hackers. (2) Tiger Woods and three hookers. (Mike Gips, Bethesda)

 

Habitchuation: Chronic complaining. (Chris Doyle)

 

Sacks: A clothing store in the alley off Fifth Avenue. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)

 

Whizdom: Successful potty training. (Bob Dalton, Arlington)

 

Moetivate: To inspire others to action by twisting their noses, yanking their hair and knocking their heads together. (Marbury Wethered, Greenbelt; Kevin Dopart)

 

Whorenet: A prostitution sting. (Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)

 

Maehem: What transpired after the invitation to "come up and see me sometime." (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

 

Dudey: Extremely limited social responsibility, such as turning away from others while belching. (Kevin Jamison, Gaithersburg)

 

Jeanealogy: The history of one's physique as reflected in choice of pants, from paint-on hip-huggers to dad-slacks. (Dion Black, Washington)

 

Foursight: Absentmindedly putting on glasses when you're already wearing contacts. (David Kleinbard, Jersey City)

 

Pleisto-scene: Happy hour at the senior center. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

 

Robbury: The costs hidden in a 2,000-page health care bill. (Jim Noble, Lexington Park)

 

Diet-titian: The Italian painter famous for his skinny nudes. (Barbara Turner)

 

Beau tie: The short leash you keep your man on. (Cheryl Davis, Arlington)

 

Boomeringue: The results of cooking egg whites in the microwave. (Craig Dykstra)

 

Musturd: Baby poo. (Craig Dykstra)

 

Prophet-sharing: Bible study. (Beverley Sharp, Washington)

 

Bootie call: What you might get nine months after a booty call. (Larry Yungk, Arlington)

 

Egg yoke: Umbilical cord. (Beverley Sharp)

 

Boredello: A cathouse where everyone looks and acts exactly like your wife. (Dion Black)

 

Next Week: Dead Letters, or The Year in Adieu